デイヴィッド・テナント、スコットランド対イングランドの食べ物を食べ比べ｜Snack Wars

Who is the brand ambassador for Tunnock's? And why isn't it me?

Who do you think it is?

Ewan McGregor. I bet Ewan McGregor's got Tunnock's. I don't know, who is it?

James McAvoy.

If James McAvoy got the Tunnock's gig... If McAvoy got Tunnock's, I'll be raging!

Hello, I'm David Tennant, and this is Snack Wars. England versus Scotland edition for LADbible.

Ah! The Tunnock's Teacake. I was brought up on these.

There are statistics about how many of these are consumed in Scotland, and it's eye-watering. They're absolutely perfect, delicious, and light as air.

A Bakewell tart, I mean, I also like a Bakewell tart. But I mean... this isn't even a competition, this particular round. The Tunnock's Teacake is a magnificent thing.

Mmm, that's really good. Look at that. Look how clean it looks. Perfect.

This is a sort of shortcake base, but it's quite moist, quite almost spongy. Very thin layer of, apparently actual milk chocolate. And this is like a mallow, but it's light. It's like a cloud. They're just so light. They're just so easy to eat. That's very good.

This is fine. Is that Mr. Kipling?

It's Mr. Kipling.

Yeah, well, that's, you know, that's alright, isn't it? Listen, it's fine. There are other things that you could put down here that the Bakewell tart would beat, and beat soundly, and beat well, and be proud of. But the Tunnock's is going all the way.

Point to Scotland?

Point to Scotland.

What am I looking at here? Is that a Morton's roll? Oh, it's a square sausage in a bun! Look at that. Look at the butter melting and sinking in.

It's like a sort of flooring tile of meat. That's what that is. Square sausage is very much a staple in Scotland, and outside the country, you just don't find them.

Why is it square?

Why not? Good point. Why should a sausage not be square? It's almost more like a burger than a sausage.

This then, I'm thinking is a Greggs Sausage Roll. Is that what I'm looking at here?

You're correct, yeah.

One looks a little bit more handcrafted, doesn't it? That looks like it's come out of a machine. I know which one I'm gonna prefer. This is gonna be...

Look at the color of that. Look. That's like a dead man's c*ck.

This is, I'd say the rolls are a little over-fired, you know, if we're gonna split hairs. This could be slightly softer.

The Morton's roll is famously... again, you don't really get these outside Scotland. Famously very fluffy on the inside with a hard carapace. This one's perhaps a little too hard. But I'm quite looking forward to this.

It really needs some brown sauce though. Brown sauce would finish that off.

Might need to edit this bit down.

Yeah.

I mean, that's a meal in itself, that. With a bit of brown sauce, that would be perfection. A delicious, heart-stopping snack.

So dare I ask, where's the point going?

Of course it's going to the square sausage in the Morton's roll. Of course it is.

Ah! Tunnock's are back!

I'm not a brand ambassador, I'd like to point out. Although I may be sounding like one. The Caramel Wafer, this is the other principal Tunnock's product. And I'd probably prefer the Teacake. But they are great.

And a Twix. I mean, a Twix is pretty classic, isn't it? I do like a Twix. Let's have a go.

It's a nice combination of ingredients. Very sweet. A bit too sweet, a Twix, isn't it? Listen, that's not bad.

I haven't had a Caramel Wafer in quite a long time. But again, they haven't changed. They've just been very consistent. In look, and texture, and...

It just tastes a bit more real, this. Maybe that's because I'm accessing some sort of childhood memory here. It feels like it's made with love and care.

The Twix is a little... it's a little mass-produced over here. This feels like each one has been individually handcrafted on the thighs of Scottish artisans.

I'm not actually believing you're not a brand ambassador now.

It does, it does... why? I might need to ask them for some money for this kind of endorsement.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they're gonna reach out.

Yeah. Tunnock's have a brand ambassador. Who is the brand ambassador for Tunnock's? And why isn't it me?

Who do you think it is?

Ewan McGregor. I bet Ewan McGregor's got Tunnock's all sewn up, hasn't he? I don't know.

James McAvoy?

If James McAvoy got the Tunnock's gig... If McAvoy got Tunnock's, I'll be raging!

Hmm, that's very good. Tennant's Tunnock's as well! Tennant's Tunnock's. I mean, the copy writes itself, doesn't it? I'd probably just do it for free products as well. They should really get in touch. Tunnock's, we need to talk. We need to really talk. This is great. This is great.

Dare I ask?

You don't need to ask. Ten points to Scotland!

Oh, is this pudding? Oh... That's a deep-fried Mars Bar, isn't it?

It certainly is.

I've never had a deep-fried Mars Bar. I've wanted to, but they're quite... they're not as readily available, I think, as people think they are. They're not literally on every street corner where I come from.

I'm quite excited. It's quite cold. It's meant to come straight out the fryer.

Yeah.

They also do Creme Eggs in some places. Snickers, Crunchies, I think. I think in certain chip shops, you'll get them all.

They deep fry anything nowadays.

Yeah. What do you think? Do you think it's gonna be nice?

That's quite chewy. I mean, it's not horrible. It's not horrible. It's not unpleasant. If that was hot, that might be quite giddy-making actually.

So this is a... is this a bread and butter pudding?

Yeah. Spot on.

Again, handmade.

I mean, you can't go wrong with a bread and butter pudding. Needs a bit of custard, I'd say. Needs a bit of... it could be a little bit more caramelized maybe. It's slightly... it's slightly sludgy, as bread and butter puddings go. You know, it's not great.

But this is, you know what, this is quite special. Just for sheer ingenuity.

We've got to give the point to the deep-fried Mars Bar, haven't you? Point to Scotland?

Point to Scotland.

What is that? Oh, that's a... is that a macaroni pie? A macaroni pie, and... what's that thing? This has not come from a bakery. That's... I mean, this looks handcrafted. Macaroni pie... very Scottish. I mean, it is a very Scottish invention.

Glasgow, is it?

Oh, I don't... I couldn't tell you, it's heritage. But I mean, macaroni does not originate from Glasgow. People outside Scotland don't know what this is, do they? So it's a Scotch pie, but inside is macaroni cheese. Really. Look at that. I can't remember what this tastes like.

It's quite dry. There's not a lot of moisture in there. You've got to applaud the ingenuity of putting macaroni cheese into a Scotch pie, haven't you?

Loading carb with carb is really impressive.

Yeah. It's a carb on carb lovely lunch. God, that takes me back. I had forgotten they existed until now.

Really? There's literally a cafe down the road that is the only place that does them.

Really?

Yeah. Auld Hag.

Oh, okay. Now this... what is this? Is that a cheese and onion pasty?

That's a chicken and mushroom Ginsters pie.

Oh, it's... that's not a great consistency. That's a floppy creature, isn't it? That is the color of something that died a long time ago.

That's not meat. Is that meat? Oh, maybe it is meat. I couldn't tell you what that is.

I think you're telling me you're not enjoying it.

I mean, the truth is I don't hate it. But I think for ingenuity, I've got to go for the macaroni pie. Handcrafted, hand-loved, and still a really weird idea. And that in itself deserves a point, don't you think?

Point to Scotland?

Point to Scotland.

What we do in Scotland, you see, is we take other people's ideas... macaroni, the Mars bar... and we make it as unhealthy as we possibly can. And we feed it to our children. And we're very proud.

Ah. Okay. Okay. Well this is the Scottish beer, Tennent's Lager. Not quite the right spelling. Not my family brand. This is going to go everywhere, isn't it?

Yeah, this is very reminiscent of the homeland. It's not a premium lager. I hope they don't mind me saying that. It's an everyday lager.

And what have we got, London Pride? See, they make that close to where I live now, and they make that close to where I used to live. It's like my whole life encapsulated in two mid-priced lagers. I worry this is... well, let's see. Let's not prejudge it.

Okay. Yeah, that's alright. Yeah. I'm going to clear the palate. I'm going to do this properly.

I'm going to get s*** for this, but I'm going to give this one to England.

Even on your near namesake beer?

I know, but if they'd got the spelling right, I'd have given them the point.

In that game of Snack Wars, Scotland won.

Scotland wins it! It was always going to be that way.